Watch the I

So why would it be this way? And no one knows, so everyone cares to. Secrets not worth keeping, not worth having. Wasted my time, and yours. But now what? When this is how it feels, and I hate it again. But what could I do to not hate this? Back to that hole in my stomach, unwilling to try and fill it. And so this is, just like I've always known. Not depressed, happy once. Once and again. Someday, sometime soon. I make myself sick. I make you sick. Watch the I kill me.